What are you not going to do this year?

 What a topic. Turns out I am not going to go out, I am not going to see my friends or family often, buy alcohol, go away on a holiday, use my passport, or leave the province!

 

I haven’t been to a funeral, or a birthday party, or kissed my mom. I haven’t been able to hug my sisters or smile at a stranger in the shops.

 

But what I have managed to do, is support. To build new relationships. To strengthen old ones. To rediscover my family and what they mean to me.

 

I have spent hours talking to people. Falling in love with hearts. With fighting spirits. With brave and strong men and women. Watched people’s eyes. Seen their pain. Their frustration. Their loss and their fear. Seen how they get up, and move forward, and persevere. And smile through their eyes, determined that tomorrow will be a better day.

 

I have learned that my own company is pretty good. That I am okay on my own, and that I will always be okay. That the people I spend my time with, I choose to do so. That just as I am so fortunate to be surrounded by them, they are lucky to have me in their lives. That I bring sunshine and not rain as much as possible. That I will build up and support where I can and not tear down with words or actions. And that I am never going to underestimate who I am again.

 

I am not going to have unspoken words on my heart or regret in my soul. I am never going to live for yesterday again but always for today. Because that is my present.