Today I started the 42nd year of my existence in this life and on this journey.
I am cognisant of all that I leave behind and all that I begin.
I begin the year in which I will move homes, I begin the year in which I will probably offices, I begin the year in which I will run VCA. I begin the year I will start living closer to my purpose, the year for me.
Less guilt, more laughter.
More saying yes only if it resonates a yes in my very soul.
The year of loving money and not squandering it but using it for it's best purpose.
The year of discovering my mom and being a daughter for the first time in a very long time.
The year of being supported effortlessly and beautifully.
Of finishing my book.
Of falling in love with Hayley and being the mom that my children deserve.
More saying sorry and less reasons to.
More nature, more loving, more laughing.
And should the right situation come along, I give myself the gift of being loved.
Happy birthday Hayley <3
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
SPRING CLEAN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
My husband left me
when I was seven months pregnant with my second child. I felt like my life was
going to end. I was 27. The first weekend he came to fetch the children from me
for the weekend, the silence was deafening. I roamed around the townhouse for a
few hours, not really aware of where I was or what I was doing. The weekend passed in a blur.
The next weekend I had
on my own, I was prepared. I had DVDs coming out of my ears. Enough to help me
not to think and not to feel alone. This became somewhat of an obsession for me
so much so that I have one of the biggest collections of DVDs among my friends.
Enough to start my own DVD store. I even had DVDs I didn’t really like. Ones that
were badly made, had poor actors in them, a pathetic plot, and just left me
with no real value.
When I decided that
perhaps it was time to shake it off, and get out into the world, instead of
DVDs, I collected people. I made friends with the people in the shops, people
at the garage, people I met at my children’s schools. And I made appointments. I
had dinner appointments, drinks appointments, breakfast appointments, tea
appointments, lunch appointments, more tea appointments, and it went on and on.
The BUSYness. The FULLness.
Until one day, I discovered, just after I had to have TWO
birthday parties for my thirtieth, because there were too many actors in my
plot, that I had collected people much the same way I had collected DVDs. Some
were amazing. I wanted to watch them over and over again, and I would never
grow tired of them. Some were great to watch a few times a year. Others left me
feeling empty, hollow, and just plan BLEGH. What an amazing feeling. To be able
to pinpoint where I was receiving value, and nourishment, and support, and
where I wasn’t.
And so,
systematically, slowly, my DVD collection became smaller, and so did my list of
friends. And now, ten years later, I still find myself impulsively collecting
DVDs, and sometimes people as well. But I know that some movies, just like
relationships, are either meant for a season, a lifetime or a reason.
Pay
attention. And be kind to one another.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Magic
This past weekend I attended a retreat in the Magaliesberg, hosted and facilitated by my magical Fairy Godmother Donna Mc Callum. It was for our bodies, our minds, and our souls.
My trinity went in kicking screaming and protesting. I was too busy, too hurried, too worried, too unprepared. But in the back of my mind I kept remembering, that Universal and Divine timing is always perfect. More specifically, Donna's timing is always perfect.
I did attempt, truth be told, to get out gracefully. I explained to Donna that I needed to have an operation. And that this would render me immobile. Which I do need to have, and which will render me immobile. However, it is not scheduled until October.
Donna quite politely ignored my protest, knowing that I needed to be on the retreat, or I wouldn't A) have booked and B) tried to cancel! I then realised that perhaps sometimes, other people do know best.
We left the office at one on the Friday, and arrived in Magalies around three thirty. We left at around three on the Sunday. What went on, I cannot disclose, as it is a Magical FGM secret. What I CAN confide, is that it changed my life. Is that it gave me so many AHA moments I couldn't choose which one was the actual sparkler one! Is that Donna Mc Callum is indeed a mystical creature blessed with healing, blessed with vision and blessed with an abundance of love and I am so grateful to the Universe for sending me her!
Thank you Donna!
Be kind to one another
My trinity went in kicking screaming and protesting. I was too busy, too hurried, too worried, too unprepared. But in the back of my mind I kept remembering, that Universal and Divine timing is always perfect. More specifically, Donna's timing is always perfect.
I did attempt, truth be told, to get out gracefully. I explained to Donna that I needed to have an operation. And that this would render me immobile. Which I do need to have, and which will render me immobile. However, it is not scheduled until October.
Donna quite politely ignored my protest, knowing that I needed to be on the retreat, or I wouldn't A) have booked and B) tried to cancel! I then realised that perhaps sometimes, other people do know best.
We left the office at one on the Friday, and arrived in Magalies around three thirty. We left at around three on the Sunday. What went on, I cannot disclose, as it is a Magical FGM secret. What I CAN confide, is that it changed my life. Is that it gave me so many AHA moments I couldn't choose which one was the actual sparkler one! Is that Donna Mc Callum is indeed a mystical creature blessed with healing, blessed with vision and blessed with an abundance of love and I am so grateful to the Universe for sending me her!
Thank you Donna!
Be kind to one another
Monday, September 18, 2017
Monday motivational: When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life - John Lennon
Thursday, September 14, 2017
The world is not enough
Yes, this is the title for a James Bond movie.... and even as I type I am humming the tune of the soundtrack.
However, the world IS not enough. We have destroyed so much of what is beautiful and what is good both in this world and in ourselves, as people. Yesterday, I went to visit somebody very close to me in a rehabilitation clinic. I was meant to spend half an hour with him and ended up being there for nearly an hour and a half, after a very long work day.
I then drove home, collected my daughter, and went to do some grocery shopping. On the drive home, at about 18h30, we were about to pull into our driveway, and we encountered a small doggy on the grass opposite our complex. The dog was clearly lost and looked very bewildered. At first I thought it had been hurt as it was very confused. We stopped and we coaxed it to us. You could see that she was old, quite deaf and a little bit blind.
We went to all the complexes in the house and searched for her owners for over an hour. Nobody knew where she belonged, and very few people cared. We eventually were left with no choice and we took her home.
She was dirty and she was thirsty. After spending another hour orientating her with our doggies, she came and climbed on the bed with me. I took some photos and I put them on Facebook, and then I contacted TAG (the Animal Guardians). Within 15 minutes - her owners had been located. It is incredible that we were able to accomplish this, and the owner was so happy to be reunited with her baby.
But she was vulnerable, she was scared, and nobody bothered to help her. What has happened to us as people that we turn the other cheek, and we ignore those who most need our help?
Be kind to one another.
However, the world IS not enough. We have destroyed so much of what is beautiful and what is good both in this world and in ourselves, as people. Yesterday, I went to visit somebody very close to me in a rehabilitation clinic. I was meant to spend half an hour with him and ended up being there for nearly an hour and a half, after a very long work day.
I then drove home, collected my daughter, and went to do some grocery shopping. On the drive home, at about 18h30, we were about to pull into our driveway, and we encountered a small doggy on the grass opposite our complex. The dog was clearly lost and looked very bewildered. At first I thought it had been hurt as it was very confused. We stopped and we coaxed it to us. You could see that she was old, quite deaf and a little bit blind.
We went to all the complexes in the house and searched for her owners for over an hour. Nobody knew where she belonged, and very few people cared. We eventually were left with no choice and we took her home.
She was dirty and she was thirsty. After spending another hour orientating her with our doggies, she came and climbed on the bed with me. I took some photos and I put them on Facebook, and then I contacted TAG (the Animal Guardians). Within 15 minutes - her owners had been located. It is incredible that we were able to accomplish this, and the owner was so happy to be reunited with her baby.
But she was vulnerable, she was scared, and nobody bothered to help her. What has happened to us as people that we turn the other cheek, and we ignore those who most need our help?
Be kind to one another.
Monday, September 11, 2017
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Godparents
Godparents are a funny thing. Wikipedia defines them as: someone who bears witness to a child's baptism, although the term has also been used in a legal sense. In both religious and civil views, a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development, and to take care of the child should anything happen to the parents.
I am Godparent to three little boys, personally, and as a mother of two, my children have Godparents.
At the time that these children are born, it tends to be an emotional appointment, somebody who either means a lot to you, or somebody who you feel obligated to appoint.
What a wrong perception and take! Because how many times do your friends or even relatives, NOT take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development? Let alone guarantee to be there should anything happen to the parents?
And so you have to ask two questions:
1) Do parents know what they are nominating people as in their children's lives?
2) Are Godparents even still valid parts of society? Is there still a role for them?
One of my Godchildren happens to be my nephew. My sister and my brother in law share the responsibility of being Godparent to him. I would say I am the most active Godparent in the relationship, as my sister stays far away. And yet I still do not see Godson A more than once a month, if we are lucky - does this infer an interest in his upbringing?
Godchild 2, or Exhibit B, is the child of one of my oldest friends. An absolute beaut of a little boy. And yet, I haven't seen him more than a handful of times in his two years of existence. This is not because he disgusts me, smells funny, or even has parents that irritate me or behave badly. It is because we live in a world where roses smelling is strictly prohibited and guilt calls from every angle.
Be the perfect moooommmmmm - calls guilt. Work late every single dayyyyyyyyyyy - calls guilt.
You are divorced shower your children with an all you can eat buffet of attention twenty four hoooouuursssssssss - yells guilt at the top of its lungs.
And then, despite your best intentions, along comes colds, flu, and digestive ailments. Just to add something different in the mix. So that even when you PLAN to see this poor neglected Godchild, you daren't as you will infect the entire household and feel even MOORREEE guilt.
Typical - says guilt - it is because you work all the time.
And so, my dear Godchildren, A, B and C. I love and adore you all. I want only the very best for you, in every situation and in life and in general. And I have no doubt you will achieve the pinnacle of success. Because you all have amazing parents and are so loved.
And I will endeavor to be a better Godmother. Because you deserve it. And well, because Guilt said so.
Be kind to one another <3
I am Godparent to three little boys, personally, and as a mother of two, my children have Godparents.
At the time that these children are born, it tends to be an emotional appointment, somebody who either means a lot to you, or somebody who you feel obligated to appoint.
What a wrong perception and take! Because how many times do your friends or even relatives, NOT take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development? Let alone guarantee to be there should anything happen to the parents?
And so you have to ask two questions:
1) Do parents know what they are nominating people as in their children's lives?
2) Are Godparents even still valid parts of society? Is there still a role for them?
One of my Godchildren happens to be my nephew. My sister and my brother in law share the responsibility of being Godparent to him. I would say I am the most active Godparent in the relationship, as my sister stays far away. And yet I still do not see Godson A more than once a month, if we are lucky - does this infer an interest in his upbringing?
Godchild 2, or Exhibit B, is the child of one of my oldest friends. An absolute beaut of a little boy. And yet, I haven't seen him more than a handful of times in his two years of existence. This is not because he disgusts me, smells funny, or even has parents that irritate me or behave badly. It is because we live in a world where roses smelling is strictly prohibited and guilt calls from every angle.
Be the perfect moooommmmmm - calls guilt. Work late every single dayyyyyyyyyyy - calls guilt.
You are divorced shower your children with an all you can eat buffet of attention twenty four hoooouuursssssssss - yells guilt at the top of its lungs.
And then, despite your best intentions, along comes colds, flu, and digestive ailments. Just to add something different in the mix. So that even when you PLAN to see this poor neglected Godchild, you daren't as you will infect the entire household and feel even MOORREEE guilt.
Typical - says guilt - it is because you work all the time.
And so, my dear Godchildren, A, B and C. I love and adore you all. I want only the very best for you, in every situation and in life and in general. And I have no doubt you will achieve the pinnacle of success. Because you all have amazing parents and are so loved.
And I will endeavor to be a better Godmother. Because you deserve it. And well, because Guilt said so.
Be kind to one another <3
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