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You are as sweet as honey on a grizzly bear's whiskers
And as precious as a drop of water in a drought-stricken land
You are the roadmap which guides my restless spirit
You are as innocent and pure as a saint, clas in white
But yet, I turn away fro you
your fingers, inquisitive yet caring, probe my soul and I withdraw, like the petals of a daisy closing as dusk falls
All you want to do is love me, yet I turn away from you
I don't know what it is which dampens my zeal like a torrent of rain over adry and heat-ridden desert
But I do know one thing, I want to love you, not turn away from you
And furthermore, I want you to love me and your innermost soul to be mine

Perspective

I am a person who is passionate. About everything – even the weather. Nothing is ever halfhearted and I feel everything with my entire being.

As a result, I find myself finding value in everything. Chasing every idea. Easily getting distracted and waylaid on things that perhaps are not entirely relevant or in the bigger picture, even matter. I lose perspective and find myself spread thinly, and in a bit of a whirlwind.

I am 41 now, and the last few years have been a period of self-discovery for me. I have learned so much about myself and I continue to do so on a daily basis. And realizing that I first need to find my priorities, find what fills me, find what rewards me, has been the biggest lesson.

Because if you are wasting your energy on something that does not serve you, why are you doing it? Do you know how to say no? or are you a people pleaser? I was most definitely a people pleaser for most of my life until very recently. No matter the inconvenience to self, I did what I needed to, to make those around me happy, first. In the interim I was depleted of any reserves. Running my car with a very flat battery. Wondering why I was so tired constantly, had no time for myself, and was feeling so begrudging towards everybody around me. ‘oh sure YOU get to have a relaxing evening that’s because I just made you dinner!’ I would mumble under my breath. ‘nice that YOU get to lie in the bath and read for an hour, I only managed a quick ice cold shower!’ I would complain whilst rolling my eyes to myself.

And then I realized I needed to repaint my picture. It was important for me that I, Hayley, was also nourished. It was important that I had down time, that I got to rest, that I experienced relaxation. Yes, sometimes that means that I cannot be all things to all people, but guess what, in the interim that just teaches them their own life lessons, and their own perspectives. You need to establish what is important to you, and you need to pursue it. With all the passion you need, but just make sure your perspective nourishes YOU first. Be kind to YOURSELF this woman’s month!