100 things you love or 100 tools you swear by

 

This was the topic assigned to me for this week. And although it’s a wonderful topic I have decided to go a different path.

 

I have decided to write about what I am grateful for

 

And maybe not a hundred although I am pretty sure there are well over 100 I could easily rattle off, I will write 10 today.

 

1)      I am grateful for family. They are not perfect. They may not be blood. But the people that keep me going everyday, that have my back and keep me grounded and accountable and safe. I am grateful for them.

2)      I am grateful for being a mom. Having 2 beautiful children that I raised alone and sacrificed so much for, taught me humility. Taught me how to sacrifice. Taught me how to put somebody before myself. Taught me about unconditional love

3)      I am grateful for love. For finding somebody that loves me as much as I love them. That provides for me, has my back, sees my ugly but chooses to see my light. That hears my fears and helps me laugh at them until they are just tiny balloons on the ground to stomp on. That protects me. That allows me to dream. My star.

4)      I am grateful for my friends. The people that will give me tips on how best to bury a body just in case…. those that cheer me on and push me when I just cant take another step. Those who listen to my ugly cry about the same tired topic on repeat and don’t block my number. The panties. The bros. The loves of my life. Those who see me through success, failure, love, heartache, loss, gain, and who just never turn their backs or their faces.

5)      I am grateful for VCA. Grateful that the blood and tears I have poured into her walls has sustained me for twenty years. She has enabled me to offer employment, educate, train, build up, provide for, close on a hundred people over the years. Some people have been the first in their family to do tertiary studies, buy a home, get a driver’s licence, own a car! What a privilege that when they leave they always find work because of the grounding given here.

6)      I am grateful for animals, and for my pets. For never remembering a grumpy mood, or a cross word. For always wanting to please and forever being grateful for any and all attention thrown their way. For never letting me ever pee in peace because they cannot bear to even have 5 minutes away from me. What greater love could there ever be.

7)      For my senses. For being able to stare at the faces I love, hear music, and laughter, smell a familiar scent that takes me to a memory. For being able to taste my tears of frustration, or pure bliss, and to feel the arms of my star being wrapped tightly around me

8)      I am grateful for my health. For being able to be able.

9)      I am grateful for my fire. For my passion. For arguing for the underdog, for finally finding my own voice and being able to defend myself. Against intentional and unintentional hurt. For never giving up, and if I do, not for long. For seeing the big picture.

10)   And lastly, I am grateful for apologies. For being able to say sorry when I have hurt somebody, and when I have done wrong. Been malicious, been nasty, been deliberately cruel. I am grateful that the sun hasn’t set on me and I can still tell those around me just how much I love them.

 

Tis the season. Be kind to one another.

Why did you start blogging?

 

Eight years ago, I was selected as a contestant on a local business television show. I was allocated three amazing women business leaders as my mentors at this time, and one of these ladies mentioned to me that if I was going to call myself a guru, or a thought leader, or a leader of any sort, I needed to establish myself as one. To take action. To stand up at be counted.

 

And so, I started to blog. I blogged about thoughts, I blogged about life events, life experiences. And in the course of this, I learned about me. I learned what makes me happy. What makes me passionate. I learned what makes me angry and what inspires me. To be better. To do better. To achieve more. To help more.

 

When I initially started it was so much about the other people who were reading it. What their thoughts were – about my writing, about my story, about my experiences. Are they judging me? Are they laughing at me? Does anybody even care?

 

And I came to realise, even if nobody acknowledges what you have written, somebody out there has resonation with your words.  Somebody has been touched by your words. When I was 27, my husband left me, and I was 7 months pregnant. It felt like the world had ended, and that I was a leper nobody else would ever want to be near ever again. That I was shunned. That I had failed. Only to find out, in later years, that so many people have been in the same boat as I was in. And if I had heard that, at that time, it would have made the world of difference for my confidence and for my esteem. To know that it wasn’t only me. To know that it had nothing to do with me actually, but with my ex husband.

 

And so, every two weeks, I write. I blog about topics chosen for me, and topics I have chosen for myself. I pour my heart out. If anybody reads it, has actually got nothing to do with me. For now, I write. I express. I confess. And I know that somebody, somewhere in the universe, who needs to hear it more than ever, will hear it.

 

And I continue to try to be kinder to those around me, and to myself. This is why I blog.