Many years ago I had a best friend. She was
there for me at a time nobody else was. I was going through an ugly divorce (aren’t
they all), and I had no support from my family, but this friend was there
through thick and thin and supported me beautifully. She then went through a
transformation a few years later and became a person I did not like very much. She
became a bully, both to me, and the people around her.
Here started an internal battle for me. I could
not just turn my back on her, not when I owed so much to her. But I also couldn’t
condone her bad behaviour, as bullying is something I just cannot condone in
any form, having been bulled in some form or another my entire life. So for
years I had a push and pull on my emotions, and my brain, until a mentor explained
to me the way the Universe works, and it changed everything for me
She said: The Universe is like a big
universal bank. You make deposits, and you make withdrawals. And just because
you made a withdrawal at a certain ATM does not mean you need to wait at that
ATM forever until it runs out of cash and you need to make the deposit to return
it. You can make your deposit at any ATM. Be it smiling at a stranger, tipping
somebody who does a service. Small baby deposits. Or large deposits, helping
somebody move, lending somebody money, being there in a time of crisis.
I knew that in the past few years I had
been there for many people – friends, family members, clients, strangers. And I
knew, in that moment, that my karmic debt had been paid many times over. I was
able to drop my invisible debt in my very heavy backpack, just there, on the
floor, and never look back.
This was for me the best advice I ever received
and has served me incredibly well in the years that came thereafter.
What is some of your best advice?
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ReplyDeleteAs much as this seems like a simple question to answer, I am racking my brains to find the game changer in my life. I can absolutely find nothing in terms of advice that I was given and took.
ReplyDeleteMy entire life, I have felt separate and different to my friends lives and circumstances. Every situation I found myself in, whether self inflicted or not, their circumstances where never similar. So I never sought advice there. I kinda winged it and had to find out on my own how to solve things or change things.
I did however meet a friend after my 3rd divorce, who seemed to understand me and made me feel like she really had my back. She introduced me to the term/condition/personality disorder, "narcissist". This was life changing for me. The more I researched, the more I realized how Narcissists operate, how they feel effall, and how it's all about them, all the time, with any partner. When this penny dropped, my eyes opened wide and did indeed have a huge impact on my life. I could see the pattern of manipulation I had been held hostage to for 17years by my ex. The revelation brought with it huge anger and the deepest hurt and regret of years and energy wasted. The ex, after our divorce, tried manipulating his way back to me after sowing wild oats, but thanks f**k, I now had this knowledge. I was able to greyrock him and cut him out of my life forever. Karma has dealt him his hand, over and over again. I have not sought out what is happening with him, but have had the ear flapping, tongue wagging regulars, run to me telling tales. And despite my hurt and anger, it doesn't serve me any joy at knowing what has been dealt to him.
The friend, like your friend, also changed, or at least, revealed herself. Her dark and dirty, evil side. In small bits. So you start questioning your own sanity. "Did I hear that? Did I see that? Am I imagining things?" Mind f**k of note. I walked away. A difficult choice, and a hard journey to travel. I did more research on personality disorders. Coming to the same conclusion I arrived at with my ex. Even a tad worse, maybe more of a sociopath. And funny that it was her that initially introduced me to the term.
So ya, not advice, but knowledge. Knowledge that has made me very aware of the dark entities in this world. Made me aware to not get sucked in by people with their false personas, manipulation and Jannie jammer gat stories.
I am at peace now. ✌