Cancerversary

When Kim gave me this topic, I had to rack my brain. You see, I never had cancer. I had a breast disease that resulted in a double mastectomy and changed my very soul forever.

And so I feel like a bit of a fraud when I am writing about a cancerversary. However, I will go with my experience and with what I went through, as an indication of just how bad it really must be to be a true cancer survivor.

I was 39 at the time. I have battled with my left breast for most of my adult life, and was eventually diagnosed, after many misdiagnoses, with papillomatosis. By then, I had had four operations, and much pain and discomfort. When I was eventually told by my amazing Doctor that I needed to have most of the tissue in my left breast removed and would lose my nipple, I was shattered. But it was either that or develop either breast or skin cancer, and so I went ahead.

Had I known now, what waited for me on the other side of this decision, I may very well have changed my mind. I was very slow in healing and was at the wound clinic of the Milpark twice a week, every week, for dressings to be changed and drains cleaned and replaced, for the next eight weeks. Was very nearly not allowed to go on the holiday of a lifetime to Australia I had booked months before.

I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t get my children to and from school, buy groceries, wash dishes, even bath on my own.

I packed on weight, my entire body shape changed. I lost my hair due to the hormones and anxiety and stress. I cried more tears than I thought my body could retain. Friends and family were few and far between. My 15 year old daughter helped me with every single task I had to perform, and without her I would surely not have had the guts. to bear that burden. Nikita thank you my darling for being my strength when I was indeed weak.

To those amazing souls who have to undergo this and so so much more, while dealing with their mortality, I take my hat off and I salute you. Thank you and there, but for the grace of God, do we all go.