Finding peace within

Star signs mean different things for different people. I am a Libran, and according to Astrology this means I am constantly seeking balance. The truth is, that this is one hundred percent accurate. I seek balance in every single life decision, every single minute of every single day.

Simple decisions can take me hours. Because I need to know that it is fair. I need to know that it is right. As a result, my soul is in constant disarray. It’s almost like a pillow fight in there, things get flung around constantly. Nasty words, mud, love, kindness, good intentions, hatred.

So for me, my life journey is about finding peace within. Loving myself. Knowing that I am worthy. Knowing I am enough. Knowing that if I have hurt people, it wasn’t my intention. Knowing that if people have hurt me, it’s not my place to anguish over whether it was intentional or not. That’s not my journey or my burden.

One of my most beloved life teachers once berated me severely.  She said I walk down my life path picking up items that are not mine. I ‘steal’ other people’s problems, responsibilities, and lessons and pick them up and put them on my own shoulders. She asked me who I thought I was, that these people were being deprived of such valuable lessons. How profound that moment was for me and since then I have always attempted to leave them be. I am not helping, I am hindering.

This has indeed assisted me greatly. And me being conscious of my turmoil, and trying to treat it with love instead of contempt, has too.

And so, have I found Nirvana? No I have not. But my moments of inner peace have absolutely been more frequent, and more intentioned. And I am a continual work in progress. Every single day. Until I am no longer on this plane. And for that, I am supremely grateful