Death

Death, for me, is such a scary word. It is so final, so permanent. We live our lives in fear of so much. Fear of war, fear of violence, fear of job loss, fear of a divorce, insolvency, but most of all, fear of losing those we love.

That day, we will see their face no more. Hear their voice no more. Their jokes, their eccentricities, their stories. Feel their influence and love and support around us. See the effect they have on others that we love, and others that they love. It is absolutely terrifying and yet it is an absolute certainty.

My mom was in a loveless marriage with my father for a very long time. They were only divorced a decade ago. My mom made the conscious effort to attempt to get over years of emotional and mental abuse and live a life of happiness and love. Without the intention to ever meet another man, or get involved again, but just to have peace in her life.

The universe, however, had other plans for her, and three years ago she met the man of her dreams. The man who loved her above all others. The man who made her feel like a princess, like she was safe, protected, and adored. They married in 2016. I have been a single mom for the past 15 years, and so for me, it was absolutely life-changing to see that this was indeed possible. No matter how strong, no matter how broken, no matter how petrified, it is possible – with the right man and at the right time.

The two of them had many adventures together. They travelled, they explored, they laughed, they loved. They taught. Most importantly. Two months ago they set off across the seas for a holiday of a lifetime, like two teenagers.

We lost my stepdad two weeks ago, and today we say goodbye to him in a memorial. He passed while on this beautiful trip. My mom had to deal with losing her soulmate so far away. Away from her daughters, and her support structure. She had to make the arrangements and she had to be strong and she had to be determined. My heart is broken for her, and I find myself wondering, is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? And I find myself coming back to the same answer, every time, resoundedly – YES! Do not waste time, fighting petty fights. Love those who are good to you, and who add to your life. Make space for them, build them up, let them lift you up, and live, together. Do not wait for tomorrow. Make what is wrong right. Live with no regrets. And be kind to one another.