Celebrate YOU

 

As we enter the fifth month of 2024, we find ourselves wondering how we even got here. We are all tired. We need a break. Mentally, financially, spiritually, physically. We all need something to look forward to, something to keep us moving forward.

 

 

Success is something that we all deeply desire. Success in relationships. Success in business. Successful finances. Success in health. We push ourselves to the limits every single day. We sacrifice so much of ourselves in this pursuit. We set goals. Yet when we achieve these, we push past them, ruthlessly in pursuit of the next box to tick. We don’t take a pause and see what we have achieved.

 

Celebration is not something we know how to do. We are taught to celebrate the big things only. What if we celebrated the small things. The things that we take for granted every single day. What if we took time to just breathe. We are also so caught up in ourselves that we cannot bring ourselves to celebrate the success of those around us. And in turn, to announce our own success, because who will celebrate with us? Who will not covet what we have achieved, degrade its value by reasoning it down. Favours called in, unfair advantages, familiar benefits.

 

What if for today we acknowledged just how amazing and incredible WE are? What if today we look inwards and WE see what we have achieved? On our own merit - that we don’t need our spouse, lover, friend, family members, co-workers or boss to give us the nod of approval, to tell us that they are proud of us – because at the end of the day, our opinion of ourselves is ACTUALLY the only one that matters.

 

Lets not just be kind to each other, but to ourselves too

The swomp man

 I am so worthy

I am so sensual

I am so vibrant

I'm allowed to feel

All of it

And im allowed to make time and space for me

I deserve it

Hayley time for the win

Slow and steady my girl

 

You will win the race

The Wasp and the Dove

While on a recent retreat, I was in a beautiful atrium, at night. I had spent the day mostly in silence. We were doing Tai Chi, as a group. It was the first time I had engaged in this practice, and I was feeling shy and very out of my comfort zone.

I had kicked off my shoes and was doing the practice barefoot, and feeling silly and self conscious so my eyes were everywhere, making sure nobody was watching me. We had nametags that we needed to wear for the entire weekend, as these identified us as residents of the temple. My nametag kept irritating me as I was stretching, and moving my body. I glanced down to check why it was so irritating, and I saw a wasp sitting on it.

I swiped it off immediately, as I am really nervous of being stung by a wasp: I believe it is very painful indeed! 

The wasp was unperturbed. I was convinced it would launch a counter attack and come back and sting me relentlessly. Instead it wafted slowly down to the tiles below, and had a sip of water that was leaking from a nearby tap. Presently, a dove flew down to drink water from the same pool. I watched, half in terror, half in fascination, convinced that the wasp was waiting to come for me, and then sting the poor dove to death.

He didn't. He hovered around the water, he walked on the tiles, and he and the dove seemed to have a moment where they were just watching us do our stretching and our breathing. It was a bizarre thing to witness.

I then started wondering, why does the wasp not sting the dove? And as I thought more and more about this question, I realised that just because something or somebody is in a position to do something spiteful, something nasty, or hurtful to us, doesn't always mean that they will. I learned that intrinsically, somewhere along the path, I have decided that if somebody can hurt you, they will. If they can sting you, if you are weaker, or vulnerable in any way, they will. Over and over until you succumb to your wounds.

How does life have a way of making us feel like this? How do we learn to become so jaded, and to expect the worst out of every situation? 

It is so difficult to be vulnerable, but this is what we sometimes need to be. To expect the very best of people, and to expect nothing short of this.

Be kind to one another.

Nothing stays the same

 They say that nothing stays the same - but neither do the seasons.

A new season is not an ending, its a shift, a newness, a celebration.

Change doesn't need to be an ending, its just a shift, a chapter, a beginning.

Musings from a Meditation

 I recently went on a meditation retreat. It was daunting for me as I went alone, and my anxiety was high - but also something I have wanted to do for years and just never had the guts.

As soon as I arrived I began on my usual quest - make friends. Establish connections. Find somebody to chat to so you feel less awkward.

Soon I realised that this was not why people were there. That they were there to be silent - to introspect - to grow, to learn. Some opted to be in total silence for the entire retreat.

And I decided to look inside and see if any messages came from my guides, my subconscious, or anywhere else.

And I must say, it was quite disturbing where this took me. I realised that the reason I make friends wherever I go - the bank, the post office, the supermarket, is because the self-talk and the words inside my head are so nasty, that when I give them the space, they are plain poison.

We all hear about self-talk and we are told to be kind to ourselves but wow did this resonate with me so much more after I sat and listened.

Some of the words were:

Why do I despise myself?

I drown out my guilt and thoughts and consciousness

I drown out my awakening and my messages from within

In noise and in chatter

I refuse to hear the warnings and the love from those on the other side

I deflect, I distract

I am the Queen of Illusion

Slight of hand, tongue so smooth

Disillusioned Illusionment

Watch me preform

See me drown it out

I reject my reflection

I was given reading material while there, and I have vowed to meditate as many times a week as I can manage. In that stillness I hope I find love for myself, acceptance, and peace.

Be kind to one another

The time you met a complete stranger who changed your life

 9 years ago, VCA was invited to audition for ETV's show on Small Businesses in South Africa, Its My Biz. I auditioned, terrified, and thinking that it was such an amazing experience to do the audition and laughing all the way back to the office about how out of my depth I was. It was in front of a panel, very Dragon's Den-esque, and the lights of the backdrop even burst into flames while we auditioned! All extremely dramatic. I was quite convinced my days in showbiz were finished, until, a few weeks later, I was called and advised that the show would love us to participate. 

My excitement was palpable, and I immediately began office cleaning and reconstruction! On the Monday a crew of 25 strong visited our offices for the part that would give the background of where we currently are, and two weeks later, I needed to go into studio to film the interview section of the episode. 

I arrived 2 hours early... just in case.... and before I knew it I was being whisked into have my makeup done with an ex Miss South Africa and a Fairy Godmother! Talking about makeup brands and power cuts like it was just another day. On the way back up to studio and our briefing session I was introduced to a jewellery icon. I was buzzing from start to finish. We did the studio section and when it was concluded, apart from me walking on air, I was offered some mentorship from the jewellery icon.....  I jumped at the chance. This lady, at first glance, was polar opposite to me. She was well dressed, dripping in absolutely beautiful jewellery, poised, confidant, and extremely successful. I was invited to her offices a few days later for face to face mentorship, and was to discover that we had more in common than I ever would have believed. As do all us women on closer observation. We have all suffered. We have all bled. We have all sacrificed. What matters is how you carry on. How you learn. How you adapt. How you thrive despite your pain body. 

I met 3 ladies that day that will forever have left their impacts. And I am forever grateful for the beautiful serendipity that was It's My Biz. Viva ladies. Viva mentorship. Viva holding out a hand to those who so desperately just need somebody to see them. No act of kindness, however small is ever in vain. Be kind to yourself 

Your anti-bucket list – things you would never do before you die

 I have 2 main fears in life – they are heights and small spaces. And so most of the my anti-bucket list I am sure will come from these two areas.

 

Firstly. I will never throw myself out of a perfectly good airplane. My boyfriend has always had this as one of his must-dos and so I organised him a surprise jump for Valentines day this year. He was absolutely ecstatic and enjoyed every single moment. With every fibre in his being. But for me, watching that plane climb so high that it felt as though my head might pop off just from the sheer angle of trying to keep him in sight, and the way my gut felt when I could no longer even spot the small plane carrying such precious cargo, it became even clearer to me that this is just not something for me.

 

Secondly, I have a friend wanting to take said precious cargo for a plane ride in a VERY small plane that my friend built himself. When I told my boyfriend about this plan that we had been brewing, he was ecstatic at the prospect and cannot wait for the day! My heart wants to escape my chest at the very thought – so that would indeed be number 2 on my anti-bucket list.

 

I will never walk on a bridge with visible holes through slats, or on a glass bridge. Ever. I will not throw myself off a bridge, or even a medium-sized building.

 

I will not participate in any competition where I need to eat something that comes out of a hole or a nest or a tree root 😊

 

This may mean that I have a decidedly boring old age to look forward to, but look forward to it I do!