Imposter syndrome is a very real phenomenon. In my experience, it is an affliction which affects women more than men.
I have been working for VCA for 24 years this year. I have literally shed blood, sweat and tears for the organisation. On more than one occasion. I paid for my shareholding. A lot. Possibly, and most likely, more than the market value for it.
And yet, if somebody finds out that the business used to be a family concern, or that I used to work for my parents, as they were the owners, and founders, people assume that I didn't really need to do much to be in the position that I am in. That my job was given to me, and my shareholding also.
That I had a cushy time in those early years, and that I don't really deserve my title, or my experience.
And I find myself IMMEDIATELY needing to justify just how much I actually DO deserve all of it. I get offended, I put words into their mouths, and beliefs into their heads. I assume that they are judging me, and in that moment I find myself believing that I am totally incompetent and undeserving.
I never even knew that it had a name, until I heard about it from a thought leader I follow, years after I started feeling this way. And it made so much sense. What I was feeling, and why. And I started to attempt to believe that I was worthy. Of VCA's success. Of my capabilities. Of my skillset. Of my job.
Years later, and a family member who is exceptionally bright, young, and ambitious reached out to ask if I had ever written about imposter syndrome on my blog. I hadn't, and it was actually something I don't even speak about often, as it is quite a personal and almost embarrassing feeling to have.
She said to me that she had experienced it herself in her professional life recently. This person is SUPER confident and incredibly capable, so the thought of her battling it too was so foreign to me. She had a conversation with a client recently, who had a different take on this. He told her that he always wants to be challenged. He always wants to feel stretched. He wants to know more. He gave the example of doctors. Doctors are experts in their fields, but are always learning more. But if this gentleman, at over 60 years of age, feels like an imposter, and somebody in their early thirties is feeling something similar, or me in my late forties is feeling this way, is it imposter syndrome or is it overwhelm from growth? Are we cocooning and preparing for our next stage of development?
I think its so important to always communicate with those around us, so that we ARENT alone. We DO make sense and our feelings ARE valid and we aren't so unique that we are the first to feel this way.
Try and be kind to yourself, and don't be scared to fail - because what if we SOAR!
